I think life is meant to be taken in strides. I think the things that happen to us are not happenstance, but in all actuality determine who we are. I believe in fate, but I believe that fate doesn't take the course we innitially think it will.
But fate is out there. Fate is working. Everyday, every second, every hour.
I find it odd how your perspective can change. I feel I've undergone a whole 180, and I'm rightly bemused as to how or why. It just sort of happened. It's nice to wake up one day with those troubles gone, only to see the new list of them staring at you.
I'd like to get inside their heads. I'd like... I'd like to stop for a moment, breathe for a moment, and read between his eyes. What did he think? What does he think? What will he think?-should that be plauseable.
I'd like to take a step back from where I am and see my world spanned out before me on a giant rectangular canvas. I'd like to see the hills and valleys of this art, and be able to take this pen, this black, felt-tip pen, and correct the "mistakes." I'd like to edit this world just enough to make me happy. I'd leave the colors and the patterns, and the pictures you can only see if you tip your head to a certain angle. But I'd like to take out the flaws I've made, the ones that, at this point, I see no growth or overcoming from. The flaws and hindrences that have done only that; hindered me.
Of course, I blame myself. Solely myself.
And my heart/my heart for saying girl it's okay./
And my mind/ my mind for taking reason away./
This jagged cliff/ I was told/ will be okay if I just let go./
And now I'm falling./ My world is falling down.
I love how words I've written in the past fit so well with the now. Like it was... fate that I ever wrote them to begin with.